Bob Saget at Tilles Center

Originally appeared in The C. W. Post Pioneer

"No, Billy. Stop f***ing that goat! You stop it!” 

Yes, some comedians can’t handle a heckler. Others can. Bob Saget, however, not only handles them, but brutally destroys them from the comfort of his mic stand. Mr. Saget responded to a Post student, an accounting major named “Billy” who repeatedly shouted at Bob during his act, by alluding to the fact that “Billy” has f***ed a goat and put a starfish on his c***. Some reading this article may be troubled by the fact that in only three sentences, we have already had to censor out three words. “There is no need for dirty language” you may be inclined to say. Well, in fact, there is a need. To review Mr. Saget’s performance and not quote obscenities is like to review Pablo Neruda and use no Spanish. It can be done, but it will lack the flavor, and penis jokes are as essential to Mr. Saget’s craft as that little “n” with the squiggly line on top was to Neruda’s. 

    For those of you who don’t know, Bob Saget is a comedian, most famous for playing the squeaky-clean, loveable dad Danny Tanner on Full House (though I’m pretty sure most people would prefer I explain who Pablo Neruda was, but that’s not terribly relevant to the article). Well, whether he’s telling dirty jokes to 85 year old Jerry for his birthday or singing about his extremely affectionate dog, upon viewing this show we all knew one thing for sure. If DJ’s dad could hear what that man on stage was saying, he’d fall right into the arms of Kimmy Gibbler, the character with whom Danny was having an affair, according to Saget’s rewording of “I Want It That Way” entitled “Danny Tanner Wasn’t Gay”.

    It must be acknowledged that Mr. Saget’s show isn’t for the faint of heart. Indeed, quite often even I was close to blushing at some of the words spouted during the performance. Yet Saget isn’t a shock comedian, in the vein of Sam Kinison or Howard Stern. Rather, Saget weaves the obscenities into his bits to emphasize moments and jokes, with mastery at times along the lines with Lenny Bruce or Bill Hicks. Ok, maybe at times he goes off the rails, but if you had to deal with drunk (or so I hope, otherwise I fear for our future) audiences shouting out “Cambodia!”, “I seen him!” and “My dog licked my b***s!”, you’d probably start indiscriminately swearing to. 

    From the stage, Saget asked Jerry, his 85 year old new buddy, whether he though Saget was funny on America’s Funniest Home Videos. Jerry responded with “You were then, I don’t know about now!”. Well, I for one know about now. So, thank you for coming to our homecoming Mr. Saget. As you would say, you tore that motherf***er up.