So, another year the VMA’s have come and gone. Last year, it was all about the Meat Dress. Two years ago, St. Kanye bravely took the stage to denounce the foul, foul tyranny of a 17-year-old girl unjustly winning the popular vote primarily contributed by other 17-year-old girls.
Every year the VMAs has a memorable moment, and this year was no exception. Forgoing a host in order to avoid a) bad jokes and b) public drunkenness, the VMAs would prove almost unmemorable if it weren’t for two girls who run the world (one of whom sings a song with a similar theme).
Yes, it’s also true Chris Brown could make your head spin with his gravity defying performance (he can also make your head spin if he’s really angry with you, I hear), and seeing Tony Bennett at the VMAs was so awesome (to me) that it made up for having to hear more about how talented Amy Winehouse was.
While we’re on the subject of singers I just don’t get the appeal of, Adele performed. Look, she’s got a nice voice, but I don’t see why she’s raved about. All the nominations she raked in this year for a video where she sits. Now, while I’ve got the mainstream population fuming at me, I might as well please the hipster crowd by acknowledging the kick-ass performance by Young The Giant. Their performance (as well as a Best Rock Video category that featured five real rock groups) restored a bit of my faith in MTV, though if it weren’t for tonight you’d never know MTV knew what music was.
Anyway, I’ve digressed enough. It’s my damn MTV-generation ADD and all, you know? So, two ladies owned the night at this year’s show. The ever entertaining (if not always original) Lady Gaga took the stage to perform “You And I”. Now, I don’t want to say anything negative or all I have the thousands of “Gaga can do no wrong” fans down my throat and…you know what? F*** ‘em. After jacking Madonna’s style for years, most directly the song “Express Yourself”, she moved on to being “influenced” by Bruce Springsteen, a fact evident on the track “Edge of Glory” released earlier this year, which plays like a feminized, dance-friendly B-Side from Born In The USA, even featuring E Street Band saxophonist Clarence Clemons. So what, you say. She’s lifting Springsteen’s music style now. Big deal. It’s not a repeat of her Madonna phase until she starts emulating his fashion sen…
Well, her jacket specifically, and when she did, I believe the world had two reactions. First: Damn, Beyonce can still look damn fine pregnant. Second: Wait, she’s pregnant?!?!?! Yes dear readers, Babyonce is on the way. Or maybe Babe-Z. Either way, the reigning Queen of Pop rubbed her belly with pride while Poppa Hova received a congratulatory hug from best friend Kanye West in a heartfelt moment so touching that I’m choosing not to insult Kanye for one sentence in tribute.
So, we’ve covered the highlights for the night. Well, unless you’re a pedophile, in which case the highlight of your night was the myriad of twelve-year-old girls inappropriately dancing in tribute to Britney Spears adorned in even her most scandalous outfits. We’re lucky they didn’t try and re-enact the Madonna moment, ferchrissakes.
So, how about them winners, huh? A lot of great videos were nominated. And for the most part, hose great videos remain just that: nominees. I don’t know, people can tell me that the VMAs are meaningless, the classic vids like “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and “Closer” fail to rack up the “Video of the Year” honor while forgettable crap shines, but scoff all you want, the VMAs is the most recognizable, most regarded, and seemingly most significant award for music videos, an under appreciated art form that’s spawned legends like Michel Gondry and Spike Jonze. Plus, for the most part, the videos that win typically are classics. “Tonight , Tonight” by the Smashing Pumpkins, “Money For Nothing” by Dire Straights, “Hey Ya!” by Outkast and far too many to list have all achieved the top honors (for those interested in the past winners, all have been compiled here for your convenience), so is it so much to ask that the current generation actually vote for the best video and not just what song they think is “prettiest”? Below we list all of last night’s actual winners, as well as those who probably should have walked away with the Moonman instead.
Best New Artist
Winner:
With an inventive video that plays like a mix of Mark Romanek’s best (“Closer” meets “99 Problems”) directed by the artist himself (in one of his other personas), Tyler, The Creator of Odd Future claimed the title of Best New Artist for his video “Yonkers”.
Should Have Won:
I gotta say, the voting public got this one right.
Best Pop Video
Winner:
Britney Spears does...the same thing she’s been doing for a decade, except now it’s in a post-apocalyptic wasteland in her bland video for “Till The World Ends”.
Should Have Won:
I’m tired of the serious Katy Perry who shows up in videos like “Firework” or “Teenage Dream”, so it was an absolute delight to see the always colorful Katy come back in full comic form in “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)”. Like “Thriller” pumped with glitter, this story-telling video set the internet ablaze, blending ironically-old (Kenny G) with flash-in-the-pan new (Rebecca Black) to make the most giggle-worthy video since Eminem got serious. Utterly screwed this year.
Best Rock Video
Winner:
Full of 90’s flavor, both in your ear and on your screen, the Foo Fighter’s “Walk” is one of their best videos in a while (though I still prefer “White Limo”). Rock may be dead, but with a great sense of humor and a snarling intensity, Grohl and company are banging away at that defibrillator trying to keep it going.
Should Have Won:
While musically the best song in this category is “The Cave”, Mumford and all his sons can’t compete visually with the Foo. The right winner was picked in this category, though I will give credit to “The Cave” for its gorgeous cinematography.
Best Hip-Hop Video
Winner:
Nicki Minaj, the newest music sensation to straddle fence between fad and fantastic unleashed a video for “Super Bass” that’s equal parts colorful fun and Katy Perry knock-off. An acceptable winner, but we’re gonna go out on a limb and say there’s one better.
Should Have Won:
While “Super Bass” was a Katy Perry vid with a bit of Nicki flair, and the same with “6 Foot, 7 Foot” being a Jay-Z video with a dash of Weezy style, it seems as though no nominees were truly original. Truly breathed a new air of excitement into the category. Let’s face it, the real winner should have been “Runaway” by Kanye and Pusha-T, but apparently MTV decided not to nominate it, and instead the lesser-but-still-brilliant Hype Williams video for “All of the Lights” by Kanye, Rihanna and Kid Cudi. The video succeeds for many reasons, ranging from its use of color and text to Rihanna’s outfit. Loomings readers will know I have rarely a good thing to say about the highly over-rated St. Kanye (his rhymes still suck on this track), but I gotta admit when he owns a category, and in this case he undeniably did. (But where were Video of the Year nominees “Make Some Noise” and "Yonkers"?)
Best Female Video
Winner:
Somehow, the winner for Video of the Year didn’t take this category, which instead went to Lady Gaga for “Express Yourself 2.0”. While the video is very exciting, and visually it is a spectacle, it’s weak by Gaga’s standards, and feels like a rehashing of what we’d seen done much better in “Bad Romance”.
Should Have Won:
Gaga’s “Telephone” partner Beyonce may not have had all the film-school imagery or odd imagery, but she did have the strongest video by far (Nobody even try and say Adele sitting in an f***ing chair was the best video. Just…no). Listen, Gaga, sometimes you don’t need insane visuals to make a good video. A good song and some great choreography is all you need; see “Run The World (Girls)”.
Best Male Video
Winner:
“U Smile” by Justin Beiber. This is just…well this is just…no. Just f***ing no.
Should Have Won:
Considering the lack-of-spectacular in “U Smile”, literally any of the other nominees should have conquered this category. But where the hell was "Yonkers" in this category? It’s Video of the Year material, but not in the lesser category of Best Male Video? “Yonkers” should have totally won this category, but since I have to pick out of the nominees, let’s go with “All of the Lights” again.
Best Collaboration
Winner:
With an ok video for an even more “eh” song, Katy Perry and St. Kanye took home the Moonman for “E.T.”
Should Have Won:
In truth, the winner undeniably should have been “I Need A Doctor”, the tantalizing release from the upcoming Detox by Dr. Dre, but somehow that wasn’t even nominated. So “All of the Lights” it is again.
Best Video With A Message
Winner:
So apparently the best video of the year is not the best video of the year? I’m confused as to how, if “Firework” is the best video of the year, and it qualifies as a video with a message (since it was nominated), how is it not the Best Video With A Message? Instead, it’s apparently “Born This Way”. And while it is a great message in the song, the video doesn’t really convey that…or anything at all really.
Should Have Won:
While some could argue the message in the song “Born This Way” is the best, the video that really conveys its message best is “Love The Way You Lie” by Eminem and Rihanna. Katy Perry vaguely touches on abuse in “Firework”, but Em and Ri expose it for what it is, exploring the dark theme of abuse and addiction, not to drugs but to love, as the couple fights and comes together again and again, acting out the message of the song, not just that he’ll continue abusing, but that she’ll continue enduring. It’s dark, it’s honest, and it’s undeniably eye-opening. You asked for a message, you never asked for a positive one.
Video of the Year
Winner:
For some bizarre reason, in a year with the Beastie Boys making their hilariously triumphant return, and Tyler, The Creator making a grand entrance into the music world, the MTV voters decided to go with ol’ sparkly boobs for “Firework”. It’s a nice song, and an equally nice video, and admittedly better than “Bruno Mars on a roof” and “Chubby chick sings from a chair and other chicks love it”, there were so many vids that went unnominated that far more deserved this title.
Should Have Won:
Let’s first get it out of the way: Despite my utter loathing for the rap stylings of on Mr. West, “Runaway” should have easily won this category. In reality, it probably wasn’t nominated to avoid him getting a chance to speak. Fair enough. Hell, you want Katy Perry to win? Give it to he far more deserving and yet not even nominated “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)”. This kind of serious message music had best be left to Perry’s dark counterpart Lady Gaga (their kind of like the Superman and Batman of pop music. I don’t wanna see The Man Of Steel take on The Joker. It just doesn’t feel right). Plus, lets be honest, the best performance of “Firework” is a cover, so I really don’t see where this vid has a leg to stand on. To pick a winner from the nominees is tough, in a way, because while only two vids really should have won this award (for the quality of their videos, not because “I love Adele” or “Katy rules!” or whatever idiot reason people voted with), they were both incredible. And while I loved “Make Some Noise” for condensing the Beastie’s film Fight For Your Right Revisited and providing us all with a well needed blast from the past, the best video of this batch of nominees is undeniably the brilliantly inventive “Yonkers”. Tyler already threatens to stab fellow nominee Bruno Mars”…in his god-damned esophagus” on this track. Can’t wait to hear what he has to say about losing to a smurf.
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